| wh0a<3 summer couldn't be any better!!! : ) |
[Saturday
July 2nd, 2005 ] |
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0kay 0kay, so i know i said i wasn't gonna write anymore because it was summer. But summer is going sooo great! i wish summer was year round and we never had to go to school to deal with the highschool drama that i love oh so much<3 but ahhh..... summer is amazing, esp. this summer!! so what i've been working alot, but i`m getting alot of money, that i need oh so much. i`m going to summer school at elk lake. but i`m making new friends and even met a boy<33 awh he's soo cute. his name is zac. me and holly are holding up our names pretty damn well P.I.C bitch. yeah, we've caused alot of trouble this summer soo far.
mandy, brittney, and i will be attending : breaking ben concert, & warped tour : ) wh0a<3 can't wait! this summer is amazing, and is gonna be amazing until` we go back too school...
well i`m done now, peace baby <3
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| goody goody gum drops : ) |
[Wednesday
June 1st, 2005 ] |
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well.... considering the fact that TOMORROW is the last day of school for SUMMER BREAK. i`m thinking this will be my last entry for about 3 months. i`ll be far too busy out swimming, having fun, being with my girls & boys, & of course partying to even want to bother with this stupid thing....
so i figured i'd put my 2 cents in be4 i leave...
well... i've been receiving comments in my past entrys stating that i have a drinking problem.... i'd just like to clear this up... i DON`T have a drinking problem.... it may seem like it, cause i well.. i always talk about getting drunk and how much i need it.... but really. i don't drink THAT often. yes i have huge parties with a bunch of close friends who i love dearly, & i get completely retarded... but thats only once or twice a week.... i`m too busy to get wasted EVERY single night of my life... i mean i girl does have to work to aford all the alcohol i buy right? just kidding.!! i just wanted to let everyone know, they dont have to worry about me. i do not have a drinking problem.. i know my limits, i just like to have fun.. ALOT.. theres nothing wrong with that... i think as long as i know my limits, im good... i know when to stop and when i've had to much to handle... so DON'T WORRY, i`m fine.. i swear!!!! <3
that's all i could think of right now.... sooo
PaYcE <3
Summer 2k5 ... here's too crazy times & bestfriends :-)
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| tell my friends im dead, im leaving you.... this time it's for good!!!! |
[Friday
May 27th, 2005 ] |
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mood |
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whoa <3 |
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music |
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new found glory |
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well since it`s like 1'oclock and i can't sleep cause i guess i have alot on my mind and i dont really have to go to bed since i don't have school tomorrow b/c i got suspended, i figured i'd write about whats on my mind, dont mind alot of it... it might be a little bitter...
1st off ..... i KNOW i`m a bitch, no-one has to inform me of that one. nor do i really care who thinks i`m a bitch or for what reason of that matter. everyone has bitchy moments every once in a awhile. yeah.. i have mine like everyday... three words for you who think / say i`m a bitch..... LEARN TOO DEAL !!! is it really that hard to understand. who the fuck really cares. i`m a bitch and i`ll be the 1st too admit it, i don't need anyone telling me i`m a bitch. i`m a bitch b/c i can be and i have to be. & if i`m a bitch to you personally, than it probally means i dont like you, which means you were probally a bitch too me, so in that case, i`m not really the bitch... YOU ARE!!.
2sd off .... people telling me what too do, ha. that one's a laugh in a half. no-one tells me what too do, and if they do, i either laugh in their face or don't listen. i`m my own person, why the fuck would i listen too what someone else tells me too do. i don't even listen to my own mother. so don't fucking tell me what too do. if anything in the world pisses me off, it's that. telling me what to do is like trying to controll me, something you don't want to do, nor can do. listening to people isnt my bigg thing, i`ll listen sometimes. don't get me wrong, i`m a great listener... if your not trying too tell me what too do...
3rd .... LIARS ... omg, i HATE liars. don't people have anything better too do than fucking lie ?! i hate liars more than i hate people trying to tell me what too do. like what the hell. why lie? theres NO point, it gets you in more trouble than you expect!! why not just tell the truth. atleast with the truth your completely honest and your not being fake or w/e... lieing is just retarded & pointless....
4th ... getting suspended for STUPID things .. whoa! i threw a bottle at holly & she missed it and it went over someone's project which it didnt even ruin... what the hell who does that. and i`m SURE the only reason perice took me to the office was b/c i told him he was a bad teacher yesterday, welp buddy, sorry. THE TRUTH HURTS SOMETIMES!!!! who the hell gets suspended for throwing a bottle!? CASSIE DOES.... urgh trail pisses me off soooo much, i can't take it anymore. thank god we're out for summer in just 4 days, well 3 for me. =)
5th ... boys!! .. yepp, that's right, i said it. BOYS not MEN. b/c the way i see it... nooo guy that is in highschool or even just graduated from highschool is a man, they know NOTHING, it's like they're all fucking retarded & CLUELESS... i mean i've had boys use me, but than again, i was using them at the same time. so i guess that really doesnt count. "breaking up" with a boy, wow i used to think it was the worest thing in the world. now i think it's the best thing too ever happen to a girl. boys are controlling, jelouse, act like 2 year olds, and have noo clue what to do with a girl, or even how to treat a girl. just the other day i had a boy say to me "i always have girls backed up, so if we date, dont fuck up" OMG who says that ? i laughed in his face, basically b/c he didnt have a clue and it sounded completely retarded, and b/c the kid is like 15. the younger one's don't know what the hell they want, they think they're in love with you and become totally obessed which is scarier than all hell... and well the older ones... they know what they want.... SEX ... all they think about is sex, food, and well... sex.... what guy doesnt though. that's completely normal...
6th .... ANON. PEOPLE .... can you say ANNOYING ? they put themselfs into your life by reading livejournal, and comment on your life. when they probally know absolutely NOTHING about your life... urgh it's just sooo annoying and childish. if your gonna leave a comment, atleast be enough of a PERSON to leave your name. not fucking anon. are people really that fucking childish ? wow people really need to grow the fuck up... maybe they should go a truth streak like i do, where you say excatly whats on your mind, kinda like what im doing in this entry.... it works real well for me, im sure it would for other people to!!!
well once again, i got a phone call in the middle of putting in a really good entry, it was josh and shane, their on their way to Ohio for some college shit... it was a pretty conversation.. but all and all, i forgot what i was typing again... so i guess i`m done for now
xoxo * Cassie <3
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| i didn't mean it when i said didn't love you so, i shoulda held on tight, i never shoulda let you go |
[Wednesday
May 25th, 2005 ] |
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mood |
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wow. fuck'd up.. |
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music |
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mariah carey <3 |
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wow , i really realized something about myself today. i push people away, without even realizing it until` later and i realized i fuck'd up. esp. guys, wow that's no big surprise there. i don't trust guys. i mean, can you really blame me. after everything i've been through with guys...
first there was patrick. i thought he really fucked me up. i mean after all the fights and jelously and not trusting eachother, and him being worried about me b/c i was turning into a bigg alcoholic. how could that not fuck up a girl. i thought i was really in love with him. i mean i'd stay awake at night just waiting for his phone call b/c i knew he'd call me every single night when he got home no matter what time it was. so i'd stay awake all night waiting for his phone call... than when he finally would call, we'd be on the phone for hours, even though we faught half the time. mostly b/c i was a fuck up and didnt even trust guys back than b/c of my father. he tryed breaking that, it didnt work. it made me not trust guys even more, b/c eventually he got so fed up with me not trusting him he broke up with me.... once, than twice, than the third time, than the fourth, and finally for good. i mean i broke up with him sometimes too, but we'd always find eachother after we had given eachother time to grow and realize things... go figure, i was the one who would never change, i was always the fucked up one. thinking when he was out late at night, he was cheating on me. although i really knew he would never cheat on me in his entire life. i still had that feeling and it made me uneasy. it made me worry and become pshyco. i hate being the pshyco girlfriend, it makes me look like a bad girlfriend... like what the hell... urgh..
next there was josh... ha, i fuck'd that one up by myself, no help needed. with in a week i got sick of only seeing him for like 3 hours at a time b/c he worked 24/7 i ended up cheating on him. bigg mistake, i felt real bad. i even lied to him about it b/c i still wanted to be with him. but i couldnt go through with the lie. it was killing me, so i told him it was true. anndrea said he looked like he was gonna cry when i told him. later we talked about it and i said he didnt even fucking care and he said he was about to cry but he didnt wanna cry in school.... wow another example of me pushing people away b/c i dont trust myself of them....
& now for the bigg reason i`m soooo fuck'd up.... baby .... wow, i never thought one guy could ever get to me sooo strongly. i had the strongest wall protecting me, one sweet kiss, & he brought it down. doesnt surprise me though. i always had a thing for the asshole/player type. i had this thing though. a person could have the worest known reputation, and i'd see right past it. with baby, i saw the real him when everyone else saw what everyone knew... player ... i saw different, atleast i thought i saw different. i was sooo in love with him i saw what i wanted to see and not what i shoulda seen. everyone told me he was wrong for me, i even freaked out on my bestfriends b/c they said something bad about him & i told them he was different, they didnt believe me. i made myself believe he was different b/c i didnt wanna get hurt again, and he had broke down my wall soo easily... i was scared, no1 had ever made me feel the way i did about him except for pat, and that went wrong... so of course i was scared, but i hid my feelings and how scared i was of him. i never wanted to show any guy that he had ever gotten the best of me, baby did. i was completely head over heels, and i couldnt do anything about it, i didnt wanna do anything about it. i thought i was in love again... actually i knew i was in love again. i had that warm crazy insaine feeling inside. everything was going perfectly. his kisses were the best thing in the world. we'd sit in his car for hours just talking and kissing, i felt safe like nothing could harm me. it was the best feeling in the world... i couldnt believe it, i was actually happy with a guy for once, and not just as a friend. than things went bad, and i wanted to be there for him like i always had been. but he wouldnt let me. he wouldnt let me do anything. i was completely blocked from his life. when for so long i was a part of his life. i felt like killing myself. nothing seem'd right after that. i was missurable. i didnt wanna be around anyone, and i certianly didnt wanna be around guys. i was depressed and competely upset, not even my friends could cheer me up this time... nothing seemed too work, until` we started talking again..... finally everything felt right again, i knew i wasnt in his life like i used to be. but hay. it was a start right... i stopped being so depressed and actually started doing things.....
it's weird how the smallest things could effect you soo deeply and things that are bigg could barely though you....
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[Wednesday
May 25th, 2005 ] |
HAVE YOU EVER...
1. Kissed your cousin: eww, insist isn’t my thing
2. Ran away: yeah, for like 3 hours..
3. Pictured your crush naked: of course, who hasn’t? unless you’re like 10
4. Skipped school: sometimes you just need a day off
5. Broken someone's heart: yes.
6. Been in love: unfortunally, it made me bitter
7. Cried when someone died: yeah.. =(
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: duhh
9. Broken a bone: nope
10. Done something embarrassing: who hasn’t
11. Lied: yeah
12. Cried in school: yeah , even though I barely ever cry & HATE when people see me cry..
WHICH IS [BETTER]...
13. Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi
14. Sprite or 7UP: Sprite
15. Girls or Guys: guys
16. Flowers or Candy: Flowers
17. Scruff or Clean shaved: clean shaved
18. Blondes or Brunettes: both are good.
19. bitchy or slutty: well i`m deff bitchy, & I’ve been told i`m slutty, soo that’s a tough one =)
20. Tall or Short: taller than me
21. Pants or Shorts: pants
22. Night or Day: night
WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX...
23. What do you notice first: body & eyes
24. Slapped butt: haha. Of course =)
25.Worst Question To Ask: do you shave? I hate that.
THE LAST TIME YOU...
26. Showered: this morning
27. Stepped outside: like 20 mins. ago
28. Had Sex: toooo long
ABOUT YOU...
29. Romantic memory: baby…
30. Your Good luck charm: probally holly, shes always there
31. Person You Hate Most: Stacey strasburger
32. Best Thing That Has Happened: a lot =)
33. NO QUESTION?: huh ?
34. Picture on your desktop: trippy picture =)
FAVORITE...
35. Color: pink
36. Movie: SUPPER TROOPERS!!!! =)
37. Artist or band: green day / counting crows
38. Cars: alot
39. Ice Cream: cotton candy
41. Food: fries & a frosty
WHO...
42. Makes You Laugh The Most: Mandy
43. Makes You Smile: josh
44. Can Make You Feel Better No Matter What: holly
45. Has A Crush On You: well if it’s a crush im not supposed too know
46. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: hard question..
47. Who Has It Easier?: boys!!!
48. Gives You A Funny Feeling When You See Them: baby ... & someone else (no names)
DO YOU EVER...
49. Sit By The Phone Waiting For A Phone Call All Night: yeah
50. Save AIM Conversations: only if there good & holly has to read them
51. Save E-mails: e*mails are gayy
52. Forward Secret E-mails: noo
53. Wish You Were Someone Else: sometimes
54. Wish You Were A Member Of The Opposite Sex: a few days outta every month
55. Wear perfume: yes
56. Kiss: =)
57. Cuddle: it’s the best thing in the world, even if it’s with holly =) lol
58. Go Online For Longer Than Eight Hours At A Time: im not always by the computer, but yeah
HAVE YOU EVER
59. Fallen For Your Best Friend that was a girl/guy: yeah, but it would never work out
60. Made Out With JUST A Friend?: of course =)
Kissed Two People In The Same Day?: biggg mistake
62. Had Sex With Two Different People In The Same Day?: no
63. Been Rejected?: yeah
64. Been In Love?: unfortunally, im fuck’d up b/c of it..
65. Been In Lust?: ha, yeah… JIM!! =)
66. Used Someone?: not my style!!!
67. Been Used?: ha, more than likely
68. Dumped Someone?: yeah
69. Been Cheated On?: not that I know of…
70. Been Kissed?: yeah..
71. Done Something You Regret?: who hasn’t
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
72. You Touched?: I don’t know?
73. You Talked To?: holly
74. You Hugged?: debbie
75. You Instant Messaged?: no-one
76. You Kissed?: actually I think it was frank..
77. You Yelled At?: travis
78. You Thought About?: …. baby
79. Who Text Messaged You?: anndrea
80. Who Broke Your Heart?: baby… </3
81. Who Told You They Loved You?: josh, he wanted something… lol
MORE ABOUT YOU...
82. Color Your Hair? Blondish/ brownish
83. Have Tattoos? Not yet
84. Have Piercings?: my ears and my belly button =)
85. Boyfriend/girlfriend?: no, and I don’t want one either
86. Own A Webcam?: no
87. Own A Thong?: like 100
88. Ever Get Off The Damn Computer?: yeah
89. Sprechen Sie Deutsch? : huh ?
90. Habla espanol?: no
91. Quack?: huh
HAVE YOU / DO YOU / ARE YOU...
92. Stolen Anything?: ha , yeah
93. Smoke?: yeah
94. Schizophrenic?: no
95. Obsessive?: I guess I could be sometimes
96. Compulsive?: maybe..
97. Obsessive compulsive?: no
98. Panic?: no
99. Anxiety: yes
100. Stressed?: all the time
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